I received an email from a financial institution with the subject line, CD Rates are on the RISE. I first thought how great it would be to hold my money a little longer and wait for interest rates to further improve; then my internal email critic got the better of me and started analyzing the words in the campaign. The message encouraged me to lock in a great rate… but if CD rates are on the rise, why should I lock in a great rate?

It got even better; they included a table displaying possible returns:
6 months – 3.6%
9 months – 3.6%
12 months – 3.99%
18 months – 3.99%
24 months – 3.99%
30 months – 3.99%
36 months – 3.99%
48 months – 3.99%
60 months – 4.19%

Obviously the major complaint I have is that the subject line is in contradiction to the body of the message, in this instance the subject line made it seem like everything is okay with the market – despite all the recent fluctuations reported in the news.

The secondary complaint is the amount of valuable email space wasted to show that 12 to 48 months would earn the same percentage. In addition to wasted space, I think the message would have been more powerful if the highest percentage was listed first. Another suggestion would be to say 4.00% – remember, if you are selling a loan it should say 3.99%, but if you're asking for money say 4.00%. The bank should offer the extra 0.01% to get people's attention.

So to sum things up, keep current events in mind when constructing your campaigns and show that you value the recipient’s time by consolidating like items and give what you can… this email was meant to raise investments, not questions.